Barry’s life took a sharp turn when he was just nine years old. The loss of his mother left him grappling with emotions he couldn’t quite comprehend. It wasn’t until years later, during counselling sessions, that he truly confronted the damage he’d unknowingly inflicted upon himself while trying to cope. With the help of friends and loved ones, he found a way to turn the reminder of loss into a growing experience. 

During his early teens, Barry turned to writing as a form of therapy. Unable to articulate his feelings, he poured his innermost thoughts onto paper in the privacy of his bedroom. Reflecting on this period, he recalled:  

“I would let all these demons out and try to piece together why I was thinking these things. It really helped and when I eventually found my voice, those years spent ‘writing my script’ became pivotal in accurately describing how I felt and how I had been feeling for so many years.”  

Writing was a safe space for Barry, where he could sort through his emotions. He found another outlet in music, particularly drawn to the rough and unfiltered sounds of grunge, punk and hardcore. He found comfort in the chaotic energy of punk shows, where he felt a sense of belonging among others who shared his feelings of pain, anxiousness, loneliness and emptiness. 

“The unique formula of being able to take my writing and make something artistic – something positive out of it – while giving a very physical performance was better than any treatment I could have paid for.

“In amongst all of it, I also found true community, family and a sense of belonging that I had longed for in those years spent lost.”

Over the next two decades, Barry fully immersed himself in the music scene. He found relief in creating art and combining words with melody. However, the journey was not without challenges. Barry faced failed relationships, substance use, financial worries and a lack of prospects for the future. These led him to reassess his direction and priorities. Although he did not have to give up his passion for music, he realised he needed to make changes.  

Since losing his mum, he also experienced the loss of all his grandparents, a good friend in tragic circumstances and his closest aunt (mum’s sister). He realised he still couldn’t cope with grief and every year, on the anniversary of his mum’s death, Barry found himself spiralling. He developed night terrors, causing issues with sleep and heightened anxiety.  With the support and encouragement of his partner (now wife), he sought professional help for the first time.

He began sessions with a bereavement counsellor while also seeing a psychologist. They offered him empathy, understanding and acknowledged his pain. He introduced some CBT tools, meditation, breathing and grounding techniques.

Determined to turn his pain into something positive, Barry decided to reclaim the anniversary of his mother’s death by organising a charity event in her memory. One such event, a charity fundraiser hike up Ben Nevis, proved to be a turning point for him. On 14th August, the anniversary day, they had a bus full of friends and family and thousands of pounds already raised.