Lorna’s story: Life after being a carer and rebuilding confidence
Lorna is the first person people see when they enter our service on Munches Street in Dumfries and knows when you have been through it yourself, it’s understandable what people are going through when they come through the door and ask for help.
When Lorna first connected with Change Mental Health in 2019, she was in a challenging point of her life. After quitting her job to become a full-time carer for father, whose health was rapidly deteriorating, she became overwhelmed, isolated and facing issues with her mental health.
Six years on following her father’s death in 2022, Lorna is focused on building resilience and making time for herself, thanks to support from Change Mental Health’s Resilience service in Tayside.
Initially, Lorna was referred to Change Mental Health’s Carer Support service in Tayside. She recognised she needed that extra support to see things in a “more positive way”. The team understood the struggles she faced as a carer and knew to guide her in the right direction.
Lorna confessed at the time that she lacked confidence and self-belief, struggling to articulate details during a particularly turbulent time – and still does. “I have good days and bad days,” Lorna said, “but laughter and positivity can take the pressures and stresses away.”
During her time as a carer, she was encouraged to pursue the things she wants to do in life with confidence, emphasising that ‘me time’ is important. One of Lorna’s passions is animals, particularly horses.
“I was nervous,” she said, “I felt too old for education.” Despite having to withdraw due to travel demands and, at the time, her caring role, she was thankful that the British Horse Society (BHS) training programme had saved a place for her. Change Mental Health helped her see it as a real possibility and focus on everything she had ahead of her. It also reinforced her love for horses and gave her the courage to seek the experience. She took a leap and shared her interest online.
“I’ll never forget when I just went for it. I put a post out on social media and a woman offered me to take her horse out. We went on adventures through the countryside and it really helped me. I don’t think I would have came to that if I didn’t have the support to be that brave.”
By March 2025, Lorna has been referred to Change Mental Health’s Resilience service in Tayside. which supports people managing depression, anxiety and other mental health conditions.
She looks back to when her father passed and that transition period in her life.
“Everything changed two-and-a-half years ago. He passed in December 2022. That period was difficult, not just because I was grieving. The start of the journey was tough and overwhelming – there were a lot of tears.
“It wasn’t easy getting out of the house.”
The shift to Resilience was a way to rebuild Lorna and look at life positively going forward. The transition had its challenges but a first meeting with Sarah, Outreach Worker for Resilience at Change Mental Health, helped put Lorna’s mind at ease. Sarah adapted to Lorna’s needs with where she was at emotionally and physically.
“It felt like a normal catch-up with a friend. Sarah explained a bit about herself and how she works, but how she would be working with me. She was really good – adaptable and she understood. If I wasn’t up for meeting in person, we had a phone call once or twice a week, or we spaced them out a little.
“Sarah helped me and she was certainly a comfort. I don’t know how she could see where my strength came from, because I didn’t feel and couldn’t see it. I suppose she’s right in what she’s saying. If I look back at that time where I am now, everything has moved forward. It’s just that I would like to be a bit more stable in these circumstances: get a job and just get back to normal.”
Lorna’s passions haven’t changed. Recognising that it was the right time to start further education, she reconnected with the British Horse Society training programme, passing her Stage 1 and nearly completing Stage 2. ”I really want to be a coach,” says Lorna.
Despite progress in her mental health, physical health issues have required her to pull back a little. Surgery on her hand followed by an infection meant undergoing a second operation. Education had to pause.
“It ended up being a longer recovery progress. It put me backwards and now I experience more pain. There’s less movement in my wrist and I’m not as flexible with the skin all tight. It’s hard.
“I know it will take a bit of time. But horse riding, for me, is very beneficial because it gets me out of the house and keeps me moving.”
The next step for Lorna is developing other passions and skills. She loves arts and crafts, attending group sessions within Change Mental Health and the community.
“Sarah has come up with different things that I could try and do. She has been a great support and Change Mental Health is a great organisation. It has been a positive experience.
“Sarah introduced me to this chart with 12 stages. Stage one was meeting her face-to-face and building my confidence with her. Sarah went with me on the first day to an arts and crafts group, and it was a step in the right direction to help me and my confidence – just to have that courage to go out and try something.
“Through Sarah, I’ve been able to grow by taking little ideas here and there to get the creative juices flowing through me. She’s helped me with coping mechanisms, like breathing techniques, yoga and meditation.”
Lorna now dreams of starting a business. She wants to find a job, but physical limitations make it difficult. Still, she looks ahead with determination.
“I want to start a Facebook page and I’m going to do arts and crafts at home – something for all ages using stuff from inside your home that you don’t have to go out and buy all the bits and bobs. I also want to explore a face painting service for children’s events and tie both ideas into one.”
Sarah often reminds Lorna of how much she’s accomplished, even when Lorna can’t see it.
“I’ve always put myself down, I’ve always been like that,” Lorna said. “Through out my caring time, I kind of felt like I needed to hear ‘Good job, well done!’ But I never heard that.”
Lorna mentioned that she felt a lot of pressure a carer, “soaking up all the pressure and not talking about my feelings.” She didn’t want to be a burden and all the feelings built up, never taking credit.
“It’s quite difficult to take on support because I’ve never really had a role model or a support person since my step-mum and dad passed. Getting the support has really helped me.
“From an outside perspective, Sarah can see the strength. I’ve seen more improvements in myself and maybe more resilient. Sarah says that I’m a lot stronger than I think.”
Sarah mentions that Lorna has built up her confidence significantly by having to adapt to the new situation she’s been faced with, ever since she evolved from her caring responsibilities.
“Previously, she always had restrictions because of her caring role – not that she didn’t want to do things for herself, because she very much did. After that, she might have thought ‘Well, what do I do with myself now?’ Going from not having time to having lots of time is a big change.
“She’s building a life for herself and she’s motivated to do that. She’s doing her riding course, meets me, doing arts and crafts and comes to our Change Café on a Friday. Even the things she doesn’t necessarily want to do, she still manages to keep going.
“I think back to when I met Lorna two years ago, she was emotional and upset. She didn’t know how to adapt. She may not be exactly where she wants to be just now, but she’s putting herself in situations and dealing with them.
“She’s becoming someone else. I’ve noticed she is dressing differently, she’s putting on make-up and showing up for herself, which I think is brilliant. She goes out of the house and she’s got people through riding training who are there for her.
“All of that is building resilience in many forms.”
get involved
If you’ve been inspired by this story, why not explore how you can make a difference too? We’ve got many ways to get involved — from helping at events to supporting our services.
Check out our current volunteering opportunities and see how you can support mental health in your community. If you’re interested or have any questions, get in touch with us — we’d love to hear from you!
support
Our Advice and Support Service is open Monday to Friday, 10 am to 4 pm (closed for lunch between 12.30pm and 1.30pm), where advisers can signpost you to local support that most fits your needs, including our Change Mental Health services. We offer initial advice on money worries and help to deal with emergencies.
Contact 0808 8010 515, email us at advice@changemh.org or fill out the enquiry form on the Advice and Support Service page.
