social isolation and loneliness
feeling lonely from time to time is a common experience, but some people have a deep feeling of loneliness that does not go away
Feeling isolated and lonely is a common experience, but it doesn’t necessarily mean you are alone. Many people who experience loneliness can be surrounded by friends and family with active social lives.
In Scotland, feeling lonely has become a common experience for many people across the country. Recent data from the Scottish Health Survey has highlighted the scale of social isolation and loneliness. 1 in 10 adults report feeling lonely ‘most or all of the time’ and, among those aged 16–24, this figure rises to almost 1 in 5.
Loneliness can arise from a variety of different factors. However, mental health problems such as anxiety, depression, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), eating disorders or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) can make you feel especially lonely. When you’re dealing with poor mental health, you might end up skipping things you used to enjoy, which just makes loneliness worse. If you’re lonely for a long time, it can even worsen mental health problems.
myths about social isolation and loneliness
loneliness only affects older people
Loneliness can impact people of all ages, including children and young adults. Factors such as major life changes, social isolation or relationship issues can contribute to loneliness at any stage of life.
being alone means you’re lonely
Loneliness isn’t just about physical isolation. You can feel lonely even when surrounded by people if there’s a lack of meaningful connections.
loneliness is a sign of weakness
Loneliness is a common human experience and not a sign of weakness. Various factors, such as changes in circumstances or societal shifts, can contribute to feelings of isolation.
what causes loneliness?
While mental health problems can cause you to experience loneliness, other factors can also contribute to feelings of loneliness, such as:
- Experiencing the loss of a loved one
- Going through a breakup or divorce
- Living alone or far from family and friends
- Low self-esteem or feeling like you are a burden to others
- Changes to your employment, such as becoming retirement or being unemployed
- Moving to a new area away from your community, such as starting university
- Being excluded from activities due to mobility problems, disability or chronic conditions
- Being unable to afford social activities
- Carer responsibilities or physical illness
- Identifying as LGBTQIA+
- Experiencing bullying or discrimination, such as racism.
how does loneliness affect my mental and physical health?
Loneliness and mental health are a two-way street, where each affects the other. Experiencing poor mental health can cause you to withdraw from others, leading to loneliness. Equally, feeling lonely or isolated can increase the risk of poor mental health. Below are some other ways loneliness may affect your wellbeing:
Impact on relationships
Experiencing challenges with your mental health can make you feel isolated, especially if those around you are judgemental or struggle to understand what you are facing. In these instances, it can cause strain within relationships and, in some cases, worsen symptoms.
Effect of stigma
Additionally, feeling shame or embarrassment about experiencing mental health challenges, often resulting from internalised stigma, may also cause withdrawal from loved ones.
Physical health
Loneliness can also affect your physical health. Research suggests that individuals who are lonely get less exercise than people who are not lonely. This can be because of co-occurring mental health challenges or a lack of motivation or energy. In turn, this may impact sleep quality and regulation of hormones, like the stress hormone cortisol.
Exercising releases endorphins, one of your body’s feel-good hormones, so those who move their bodies are often in better moods and feel better about themselves. This may mean they initiate more social activities or attend new social groups, helping them feel more connected to others.
does the type of environment I live in affect how lonely I am?
Although those in rural areas are often geographically isolated due to infrequent and unreliable public transport or long journeys to social occasions, rural communities are often tight knit and supportive, which can help buffer against loneliness. In fact, studies have shown that people residing in cities face greater levels of loneliness.
However, while people in rural areas may feel less lonely, if they experience mental health challenges, they may be afraid to seek support due to the fear they may know the person they confide in. This lack of anonymity and fear of judgement can make people feel it is better to keep things to themselves, delaying help-seeking or leading to denial, which can worsen symptoms.
Why do I feel lonely during the holidays and special occasions?
It might sound a bit surprising, but certain occasions, such as Christmas, New Year or other celebratory occasions, can make people feel even more lonely. Here’s why:
Social expectations
There’s this idea that holidays should be all about being with family and friends. When your reality doesn’t match those expectations, whether you’re alone or simply not feeling festive, it can make you feel lonelier.
Social media
Seeing others having a great time during the holidays, whether on social media or in person, can make you feel like you’re missing out on something special, adding an unexpected twist to the loneliness.
Financial strain
The holidays can be tough on the wallet, which can lead to social withdrawal. People who can’t afford gifts or festive activities may feel excluded from the cultural emphasis on gift-giving and celebrations.
Reflecting on loss
Celebrating holidays can bring back memories of good times with people who aren’t around anymore, especially if it’s the first time celebrating it without them. If you’re grieving or going through change, these dates can be especially hard.
Feeling out of sync
When the world around you seems focused on togetherness and celebration, it can make you feel more aware of your own isolation, even if you’re not physically alone.
“Thanks to the support I’ve received (from the Stafford Centre) my mental health has got a lot better. I’ll probably have depression for the rest of my life, but I can manage it now. I can go without anti-depressants and when I do get feelings of depression, I’ve got a lot of help to keep it at bay. Days when I’m down I know I have somewhere to go and I know the staff will help.”
The Stafford Centre has helped more people like David overcome isolation and cope with their mental health conditions. Read more about David’s story here.
what can I do to help myself when I feel lonely?
There is not one cause of loneliness, and everyone will experience the feeling of loneliness differently. Be aware of the symptoms of loneliness and seek support if you begin to experience them. There are different ways to support yourself during loneliness and what works for someone might not work for you. Here are a few examples of ways you to cope when you feel lonely:
1. Don’t compare yourself: It is important to remember we don’t know what people are like behind closed doors, and we don’t always know how people are feeling.
2. Volunteering: This can be helpful for loneliness because it provides opportunities to meet new people, build meaningful connections, learn new skills and contribute to the community. You can even volunteer for Change Mental Health. Contact our team here.
3. Reach out: Talking to someone you trust about how you feel is invaluable. Confide in them about your experiences and feelings. Remember that they love you and want to see you thrive.
4. Call a helpline: You may not feel like there is anyone you can talk to who cares, but there is. Our National Advice and Support Service is a free, confidential and non-judgmental phoneline that you can contact if you need support with your loneliness and you feel like it is affecting your mental health. See the support section below to find more information on contacting the service.
5. Make new connections:Feelings of loneliness can be amplified if you have limited social interactions. Why not try joining a class, group or community hub that is based on your interests. At Change Mental Health, we provide opportunities to meet others through our groups across Scotland. Find your local Change Mental Health service here.
6. Use digital tools (mindfully):Connecting with others in online communities, video calls or messaging can help you stay in touch, especially if in-person connection feels too much. If social media makes you feel worse, step back and pause using it for a while.
How can I support others?
Being aware of the signs of loneliness in others and knowing how to offer support can make a huge difference. Here are some tips to support someone who is lonely:
1. Reach out regularly
Let them talk in their own time but consistently check in with them through phone calls, texts or social media. A simple message of ‘how are you doing?’ can remind them they are not alone.
2. Listen actively
Offer a non-judgmental space where they can express their feelings. Show empathy and validate their emotions to make them feel heard and understood.
3. Suggest going on a walk
Not only is going on a walk beneficial for physical health, but research shows that walking side by side can help people open up and feel less self-conscious, as less direct eye contact can make sharing personal feelings feel easier.
4. Encourage involvement in social activities
Invite them to join you for activities, like grabbing a coffee or a hobby you do. Don’t pressure them if they’re not ready. Keep the invitation open. Shared experiences can help reduce feelings of isolation and create meaningful connections. If they are up for it, suggest joining activities that match their interests to help them meet new people and build connections.
5. Know that you’re helping, even if it’s slow
If they don’t respond or seem distant, it’s not personal. Sometimes people need time to accept connection. Your care still matters.
support
Our National Advice and Support Service can help you and people you care for with mental health concerns and money worries.
We can link and signpost you to relevant local and national support, including our own Change Mental Health services, as well as supporting with debt, grants and benefits.
The service is open Monday to Friday, 10am to 4pm (closed for lunch between 12.30pm to 1.30pm). Contact 0808 8010 515, email advice@changemh.org or fill in the form on the service webpage.
For full details about the service, visit the National Advice and Support Service webpage.
Other Support
- Meetup.com is an online platform where you can find and join local groups based on your interests.
- Campaign to End Loneliness aims to tackle loneliness through community initiatives and events. They provide resources and support for those experiencing loneliness and organise local meet-ups and activities.
