fertility and mental health
While fertility can be affected by many factors – including age, smoking and drinking habits, stress, and issues with reproductive organs – there is not always a clear cause. Whatever the reason, infertility can be an emotionally challenging experience that affects mental health, self-esteem and overall wellbeing.
Infertility is more common than many people might think. It affects around 1 in 7 couples [NHS Inform]. Being told you are infertile can impact your mental health in many ways, making it hard to continue with life as normal. For example, it may lead to feelings of anxiety and depression, or even shame and guilt as you struggle to digest the news. Almost 50% of people seeking fertility support experience depression and 30% face suicidal thoughts [Fertility Network UK].
If you’ve found out that you are infertile or are having difficulties getting pregnant, you are not alone. This guide will give you tips for looking after your mental health and where to seek help if needed.
myths about fertility and mental health
if you relax, you’ll get pregnant
There is no conclusive evidence that stress directly causes infertility. While stress can affect overall health and wellbeing, telling someone to “just relax” oversimplifies a complex issue and can make them feel like it is their fault.
fertility-related mental health challenges only affect women
93% of men in a survey on the impact of infertility stated that their mental health had been affected [Fertility Network UK]. Struggling to conceive can cause men to feel emasculated, distressed and lower their self-esteem.
once you become pregnant, the emotional impact of infertility disappears
The mental health impacts of infertility do not always end with pregnancy. Some people continue to experience anxiety, grief or worry, particularly after fertility treatment or pregnancy loss.
How does fertility affect mental health?
Your fertility journey can have a significant impact on how you feel and your overall wellbeing. Below are some of the ways it may affect your mental health:
Anxiety
Uncertainty about whether you will be able to have a baby or navigating different fertility treatments can be anxiety-inducing. If you do get pregnant, you may worry about the baby’s health or have fears of losing the baby, which can make it hard to relax.
Depression
Depression and infertility have a two-way relationship. Evidence suggests that depression can reduce fertility [Human Reproduction Open], while infertility can also increase risk of developing depression [Fertility Research and Practice].
Trauma
Trying to conceive can be a traumatic experience. Invasive fertility treatments, repeated exposure to loss and the emotional strain can be trauma-inducing. Research shows that 41% of fertility patients meet the criteria for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) [Fertility Network UK].
Isolation
Infertility can make you feel isolated or alone, with many people finding it hard to talk about it. Although this affects both men and women, many men find it particularly challenging. Almost 3 in 4 men admit they would not share their feelings about infertility with others [World Journal of Men’s Health].
Fertility challenges may also affect your romantic relationship because of tension, stress and pressure, which can worsen isolation. It’s important to communicate openly with each other so you both feel heard and supported.
Suicidal thoughts
The emotional impact of infertility can become overwhelming for some people. Feelings of grief, hopelessness, depression and repeated disappointment may increase the risk of suicidal thoughts.
Impact of fertility treatment
While fertility treatment can offer hope, it can also have a significant impact on your wellbeing.
Effect of hormones: Often fertility treatments involve medications that affect hormone levels. These hormonal changes can influence your mood, sleep cycles and how you feel overall, which may make some people feel more anxious, irritable or emotional than usual.
Emotional impact: Fertility treatment can be an emotional rollercoaster. Feelings of hope, excitement, disappointment, grief and uncertainty may come and go throughout the process, which can be mentally and emotionally draining.
Financial cost: In Scotland, the NHS provides up to three funded cycles of IVF for eligible patients [Fertility Scotland]. However, not everyone will conceive within these cycles, meaning some people may face the prospect of paying for additional treatment. Fertility treatment can be expensive, particularly when multiple cycles or additional procedures are needed. Worries about these costs can add to existing stress and anxiety, placing extra pressure on individuals and families.
Impact of baby loss
Pregnancy or baby loss can include miscarriage, stillbirth, ectopic pregnancy or termination for medical reasons. Losing your baby at any stage of your pregnancy journey can be devastating. Everyone’s experience is different, but here are some ways it can affect you:
Shock
Losing your baby can be a massive shock, especially when it is unexpected. It can be hard to make sense of what has happened and to reconcile with the news.
Grief
The loss of a baby often brings feelings of grief. Alongside the loss itself, many people grieve the future they had imagined and the hopes they held for their family. Even if you were unable to meet or hold your baby, your grief is real and valid. Some people find comfort in talking to others who have experienced a similar loss.
Jealousy
Feeling jealous about another person’s pregnancy announcement or hearing about the birth of a baby after experiencing pregnancy loss is common. Seeing others experience what you had hoped for can be especially difficult, particularly in the weeks and months following your loss.
Trauma
Baby loss can be a traumatic experience. 1 in 3 women who faced pregnancy loss showed symptoms of PTSD [AJOC]. Alongside the physical loss, there can be the loss of the future you had imagined for yourself and your family, which can be very traumatic and difficult to process.
Practical tips
Looking after your mental health during your fertility journey is just as important as looking after your physical health.
1. Prioritise self-care: Make time for self-care activities that help you relax, reduce stress and bring you joy. This might include spending time on walks in nature, yoga, mindfulness, journaling and spending time on hobbies.
2. Talk to others: You do not have to cope alone. Sharing how you feel with trusted friends, family members or others who have had similar experiences can help lighten the emotional load and reduce feelings of isolation. Keeping an open dialogue with your partner can help you both feel supported during this challenging time.
3. Protect your boundaries: It’s okay to step back from baby showers, pregnancy announcements, or other events that feel overwhelming. Setting boundaries can help you protect your wellbeing while you process your emotions.
4. Take care of your physical health: Eating well, staying active and getting enough sleep can benefit both your physical and mental wellbeing and help you regulate your emotions during this tough time.
5. Seek professional support: If navigating your fertility journey is affecting your everyday life and your wellbeing, seeking counselling or talk therapies from a mental health professional can make a big difference.
support
Our National Advice and Support Service can help you and people you care for with mental health concerns and money worries.
We can link and signpost you to relevant local and national support, including our own Change Mental Health services, as well as supporting with debt, grants and benefits.
The service is open Monday to Friday, 10am to 4pm (closed for lunch between 12.30pm to 1.30pm). Contact 0808 8010 515, email advice@changemh.org or fill in the form on the service webpage.
For full details about the service, visit the National Advice and Support Service webpage.
other support
- Fertility Network Scotland – Offers walk and talk groups in Glasgow and Edinburgh and online peer support groups for people on a fertility journey. Contact support and information line on 01424732361 (Monday – Friday, 10am-4pm)
- Tommy’s – Midwives’ helpline is for people who have had any type of pregnancy loss. Call 0800 0147 800 or email midwife@tommys.org.
