Borderline personality disorder
Borderline personality disorder (BPD), also known as emotionally unstable personality disorder (EUPD), can deeply impact how a person thinks, feels and relates to others.
Being the most common personality disorder, people may often experience strong mood swings, struggle with self-image and find it hard to maintain stable relationships. They may fear being abandoned, feel empty inside and act impulsively – sometimes through self-harm or risky behaviour.
In the UK, it has been reported to affect up to 1 in 50 people in one’s lifetime.
If you live with BPD, you may find your way of coping with emotions is different from others around you and that these emotions are hard to control. You may find your emotions confusing, tiring and isolating. This can lead to other mental health problems such as anxiety and depression.
Myths about borderline personality disorder
People with BPD are just attention seekers
BPD is not just about seeking attention but stems from emotional instability and a fear of abandonment.
Individuals with BPD deserve understanding, not judgement.
BPD is untreatable
Contrary to the belief that BPD is untreatable, there are effective therapies like Dialectical or Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (DBT and CBT). With proper support, those with BPD can lead fulfilling lives.
symptoms of borderline personality disorder
Living with borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a highly individual experience. According to the fifth version of Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-V), diagnosis typically requires the presence of at least five (5) of the following symptoms:
- Persistent feelings of emptiness and abandonment
- Difficulty managing emotions and anger
- Frequent and intense mood swings
- Occasional paranoid thoughts or dissociation
- Intense reactions to perceived abandonment
- Unstable relationships
- Conflicted self-identity and emotions
- Impulsive behaviours with potential harm, such as excessive spending, substance abuse or reckless driving.
- Self-harming, harbouring suicidal thoughts or engaging in self-destructive behaviours.
Every person’s journey with BPD is unique. Understanding these symptoms can help individuals seek appropriate support and treatment. For instance, those with BPD often experience money worries because of their symptoms. Managing money can become a challenge, as individuals with BPD may encounter impulsive spending, turn to alcohol or drugs, and neglect to check their bank accounts.
Causes
There is no single reason why someone develops BPD, but it is thought that the following can increase the risk of developing BPD:
- Family history: Having a close relative with BPD or other conditions, like bipolar or depression, may increase the risk.
- Traumatic experiences: For example, going through abuse, neglect or the loss of a loved one – especially in childhood – can play a role.
- Social challenges: Being bullied, experiencing repeated harm in romantic relationships or growing up in a deprived or unstable environment can also contribute.
treatment
The most common treatment for borderline personality disorder (BPD) is talking therapy. Talk therapy can feel intimidating, but it can be effective in helping BPD symptoms. The most appropriate types of talking therapy for BPD are:
- Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT)
- Mentalisation-Based Therapy (MBT)
- Transference-Focused Psychotherapy (TFP)
- Schema Therapy (ST)
There is no medication to treat borderline personality disorder (BPD). However, your doctor can prescribe medication if you have another mental illness besides BPD, such as anxiety and depression.
On top of therapy, there are also self-care things you can do to help your symptoms:
Establish a routine: Form a daily routine for structure and purpose, with consistent wake-up and mealtimes.
Practice breathing exercises: Incorporate calming breathing exercises into your daily routine to regain control over your emotions.
Join a supportive community: Connect with like-minded individuals by joining a supportive community or group to share your emotions.
Pause and reflect: Take a moment before responding to things and consider your response patterns.
Reach out to a loved one: Confide in a trusted loved one, sharing your feelings and knowing they care about your wellbeing.
“After being diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, I lost all my confidence and was not in a good place. I shut myself away from the world. Having Change Mental Health support has helped me to leave the house and regain that confidence and self-esteem.
“My self-management has improved and now I am delivering talks to Mental Health Nursing students at universities and colleges. Raising awareness of borderline personality disorder (BPD) will help other people and those with a mental illness to understand the condition more.”
Mo, who has BPD, receives support from our Kaleidoscope service in Dumfries. You can read her story here.
risk management
If you support someone with Borderline Personality Disorder, it’s important to know how to respond during difficult or crisis situations. Life-threatening behaviours – such as suicidal thoughts, self-harm, risky actions or aggression – should always be taken seriously and addressed first.
Try to stay calm and speak gently, without judgement. Focus on understanding what the person is going through from their point of view. Ask open, caring questions like: “Can you help me understand what’s going on for you right now?” Show empathy and reassure them that you’re there to support them.
Encourage them to talk about what might help, rather than trying to fix things immediately. Sometimes, just listening with compassion can make a real difference.
If you think they are at immediate risk of harming themselves or someone else, call 999 or take them to the nearest A&E.
support
Our Advice and Support Service is open Monday to Friday, 10am to 4pm (closed for lunch between 12.30pm and 1.30pm), where advisers can signpost you to local support that most fits your needs, including our Change Mental Health services. We offer initial advice on money worries and help to deal with emergencies.
Contact 0808 8010 515, email us at advice@changemh.org or fill out the enquiry form on the Advice and Support Service page.
The following organisations can provide support for you if you’re experiencing borderline personality disorder:
- Borderline Arts is a UK-based charity that focuses specifically on BPD.
- National Institute for Health Care and Excellence (NICE) provides information on recommended treatments for conditions like BPD.
- NHS Inform serves as Scotland’s primary health information resource, allowing you to be more informed about mental health conditions.
- Samaritans (116 123) is a 24-hour anonymous service available every day of the year. If you prefer not to speak on the phone, you can email Samaritans at jo@samaritans.org.
